It's All Goodnow

I have been watching the coverage of Baby Hope or as we now know her name, Anjelica Castillo.  She was sexually assaulted, suffocated, and stuffed in a cooler to rot.  Her body was found by construction workers.  She was never reported missing.  Not by her mother.  Not by any family member.  Nobody.  She was forgotten by everyone except for the police who investigated her murder.  They held a funeral for her and paid to have her buried.  They would visit her grave.  For over two decades. And now....Now I wonder why a little girl, raped and murdered would be given the name Hope.  If anything this is the very opposite of hope.  It gives me reason to not want to bring children into this world.  Because there is evil.  There are bad people in this world.  There are mothers who do not mention when their child goes missing.  There are uncles who do terrible things. It makes me wonder what exactly is wrong with the world. I'm glad there is a name on that poor girl's grave. And

List of activities for marathon training Sept 17: Off.  Because running everyday is stupid.. Sept 18: 33 min bike.  30 kettlebell swings.  Abs.   Sept 19: 45 minutes running.  6 laps on the track.  Tempo on straightaways.  Jog the turns.  My first brush with speed work.  It hurt.  Sept 20: 30 min bike.  500 meters rowing.  Light weights.  (you know, to keep that muscle tone) Sept 21; Off.  Because I was fat and tired Sept 22: Yo fucking go.  It is brutal.  So very, very brutal. Sept 23: 105 minutes long run.  SLOW.  Sept 24: got to the gym..  Rowed for 5 minutes.  Got physically ill.  Got on the bike for 5 minutes.  Became physically ill again.  Decided to leave gym. Today was rough.  I think working out/yesterdays long run had some not so great effects on my body.  Why am I doing this again?  Oh yeah....I am a big dumb animal.  

Alright.......today's "long" run sucked.  As I knew it would.  1:45 on my feet.  I felt like crap, but that is also to do with the fact that yesterday was football watching day. Also, Astoria Park has a lot of pigeons.  Those fuckers fly right into you.  I had to duck on several occasions. Saw a black squirrel.  Do I win a prize for that? A lot of people just sit in that park.  I wonder.........why?  Do something. Pretty sure I saw an old person who died in her wheelchair.  Her caregiver was asleep next to her.  It was odd.  I just kept running.  I don't have time for such things.  Death and all. I ran around the track in Astoria Park.  That was nice. I was covered in salt when I got done.  Covered.  It was gross.  I think a homeless person commented on how bad it looked.   And he didn't have shoes. I ate a GU packet.  Peanut Butter.  Good stuff.  Tasty. My abs began hurting.  My guess is that is because I have a weak core.  Or because I did yoga y

Continuing the whole 2 month marathon training thing.   September 11: OFF.  Cause not running is awesome for the day. September 12: 45 minutes of running on the treadmill because it was HOT out.  30 Kettlebell swings September 13: 31 minutes - 1 400 meter @ 1:40 September 14: Core work. 60 kettlebell swings.  Leg press.  Dips.  Shrugs. September 15: 63 minutes bike.  40 kb swings September 16: 81 minutes.  My "long" run.  Felt not so great, but that also has to do with drinking too many beers while watching Breaking Bad last night.   Overall feel good.  I have been foam rolling which has been beneficial.  This won't be easy, but nothing difficult in life ever is.   Some quick notes: Lots of Body Glide Nipple guards are awesome I'm trying to reduce the amount of pounding on my joints.   I need to get to more yoga classes.  

Training log: September 9th: Upon waking to a mild hangover (first Sunday of football combined with a Gaslight Anthem concert will do that to me) I realized just how rough yoga had been on me.  I haven't been that sore since the last first time I did yoga three years ago.  Wow.  My core is ripped apart.  Guess that is a good sign. I went grocery shopping.  Pasta, chicken, hummus, carrots, peppers, Bolthouse Farms drinks.  All the good stuff.  I got home - did some cooking (which I never ever, ever do) so now I'm good for the week.  Then I shaved my head.  More aerodynamic. Then it was time.  Let's go for my run.  I had no clue how far but I wanted to go about 50 minutes.  Ended up going for 61.15.   I'll take it.  Ran to Astoria Park (love it there, even have a track with a soft surface)  by the water. Though I didn't feel great, I felt good enough and I took one of those energy gels and it helped.  Feel good about where I'm at. September 10th: Went to

So I have 2 months to train for the NYC marathon.  Yes, perhaps, I should have given myself more time to prepare, but we are beyond the should have done's at this juncture.  I don't exactly have a "plan" of sorts, I figure that I'll just run a bunch and hope for the best come November 3rd. My first run in a few months was September 3rd.  I made it....16 minutes.  I think that's a good start.  I only felt a little bit like I was going to die. My next run was September 5th.  I made it 21.15 minutes.  Felt much better.  I mean, if we are talking percentages here I absolutely blew it up.  A 25% improvement.  You can take that shit to Wall St. September 7th = 40.30.....Now I am just getting ridiculous.  Almost a 100% improvement.  At this rate I will be running four hours in no time.  No time at all.  That said I was a bit light headed by the end of the run.  Maybe I should eat something before running.  Guess that could be a decent idea. September 8th.  Yo

My name is Gus Hartwell Polar Bear and this is my confession..... As you all know, if you are reading this, I am dead.  It will be reported that I was "put down" by the vet staff (or as I would call them, my captors), but that is untrue.  The truth is....the truth is that I did it.  There was no more I could take.  The torture, the captivity, the gawking. I started my life in captivity in Toledo, Ohio (a lovely little hell hole of what you people call a "zoo").  From there I was sold to the highest bidder to be a puppet.  I was unloaded in the dead of night after a drugging and prodding to "inspect me".  Had those vets put those needles down I would have torn them limb from limb.  I was placed in a white room with bright lights and was violated in ways that would make you sick.  They played with my junk, my ass, and my mouth.  Sick.  Just sick people.   This occur regularly for the next 27 years. I was given not one, but two arranged marriages.  Let

My laundry pile and I are having a stare down.  It happens to be winning at the moment. I haven't been to the gym in a week.  Which has led me to wonder, "Andrew, why don't you go to the gym AFTER work?"  So I'm going to go to the gym post work tonight.  That was an easy solve. I think I have an entry into the Marathon this year or something like that.  I should really figure it out. And then I should go for a run. September 8th NFL football kicks off for the Patriots....and the Gaslight Anthem is playing (ie. that could be a crazy day for Andrew)  The show is out on Long Island so I need to figure out the logistics of it all.  And...Breaking Bads 2nd to last episode will be on.  Too much craziness. I'll do laundry tomorrow. I need to get my cable fixed in my room. I have had this policy in effect for a while now, but I am now 100% about never giving pan handlers money.  That is what they do for a living and then collect government aid.  It is like

Some musings How about that A-Rod?  If I were that guy I would take the money and run.  He sucks as a baseball player due to his failing body.  He is a horrible human being.  He can't stay out of the papers.  Just go to Miami where people might like you and stay there.  Like you need to bleed the Yankees for another $80m?  I think  he made out on that contract. Anthony Weiner - I fucking love that guy.  Best part is that when asked if there would be more women coming forward he responses with (and I am paraphrasing here) "Yeah, there could be a few more out there."  Basically saying, you guys haven't even seen the good stuff yet.  Fuck it, he's a horny dude who was going through a "rough patch" with his wife.  I'm not saying he's a good or a bad guy.  He's just a horny guy who women were able to get some press for themselves by exposing him.  Should he be smarter?  Yes.  Do guys think with their dicks from time to time (or in Weiner's

Sitting here.  Wondering.  Why do I enjoy the Gaslight Anthem so very much? Lyrics. Honesty. Passion. What else do you need? And it makes me think. What the fuck am I doing with my life right now?

I am heavily investing myself into writing stand up comedy. Thus far the topics I am thinking.... My first time doing yoga The time my Mom bought me Magnum condoms for Christmas Small children on the subway Fat people on the subway Fat, small children on the subway People who beg for money on the subway who make more than I do in a day Why people who don't like pandas suck Working retail.  It is true comic gold The amount of protein powder in my apartment I have looked at venues where I can perform.  Pretty sure I am not going to announce this to any of my friends.  I'll let myself bomb in private the first time.  If I don't do too terribly I'll then let people I know heckle me.  At least then I know the heckling will be out of love.

Some notes: 1. Aaron Hernandez is an idiot.  I don't care if he murdered anyone or not at this point.  He is so dumb that he should be in prison for the rest of his life to protect the rest of society.  You have a fiance and an infant child at home and you are running around with a bunch of idiots while possessing a firearm.  Real fucking bright. Why any of these guys have guns on them is beyond me.  You have enough money where you can probably afford a nice home in a safe area and afford to go places where you will most likely not have to "pop a cap". Isn't the point of making it big so that you don't have to live a gang related lifestyle? 2. Work is good.  Hit our goal for the month.  Which means.........dollar.........dollar bill ya'll.  OK, it isn't that much money, but a nice little bump in pay is always nice. 3. Fuck me with this weather.  I'm trying to go to the beach and I just haven't had a good day to do so.  I'm like Casper o

Good job Aaron Hernandez. But what do we expect from these guys?  They have been trained (bred?) to be tough, aggressive, fearless....he has certainly taken a few hits to the head.  Maybe that will be his defense?  It will carry weight.  A lot has been discussed in regard to head injuries and violent behavior. Or maybe he is just a punk 24 year old criminal with millions of dollars.  Who knows?  Maybe he didn't do it?  Maybe this is a big misunderstanding of smashing cell phones, security systems, hiring cleaning crews, and leaving his house angry with a firearm.  Because I know that I am always leaving my house angry with a firearm.  Part of my daily grind.  You know, in case I need to shoot someone in self-defense when angry. I am glad the Patriots cut him.  I couldn't root for a team that had that guy on its roster.  I can't wait for the next Bill Belichick news conference when asked about this.  He is going to give the nastiest answers ever. "So Bill what p

So I began going to the gym again.  After a long absence, it was just my time.  I looked in the mirror and no longer was there any hint of muscle tone.  Just a flabby Andrew.  Now I'm not saying I want to get all sorts of jacked up over here, but as a red blooded American male I would like to have some sort of bicep. It has been about a month now and I must say, going to the gym 3 or 4 times per week has been tremendous.  I feel better.  More energy.  I am getting stronger.  I can actually see results. That said I am still lifting the amount I would guess a high school girls tennis team would be lifting, but I'm not trying to bench 300 after a month of getting back into it. So for the bargain basement price of $40/month I get to feel better and use more than one gym.  It is a good deal.  Also, it really is nice to have a small amount of muscle tone.  Running is great, but I would like to be able to lift stuff too.  Like in a functional capacity.  I knew it was gym time when

How do you like any of these as an opening line for a story? Ever do something you know will suck, you know it will hurt?  Just something that is completely insane. I keep opening myself to a certain pain that I can't seem to escape. I want to change something, that I don't want to actually change.  That I keep going back to this well of pain to torment myself. Every day of my life I knew I wanted to be the bad guy you rooted for.

If you know me at all, you know my favorite band is The Gaslight Anthem.  There is no debate, they are the best band in the world right now.  Seriously, no debate.  Don't even attempt to tell me there is a band anywhere close to the songwriting/story telling on Brian Fallon.  Anyhow, that is not the point of this post.  The point is more that I had a small adventure while I went down to Asbury Park, NJ from my new home here in Astoria, NY. So I get up the day of the show and it is like Christmas for me.  I'm psyched.  I hadn't seen the band since November when I saw all three shows they played in Manhattan.  I would also like to point out that I typically will go to these shows alone.  It is simply my thing.  I am there to see the band, not chat with somebody.  It is like going to the movies.  Why in the fuck would I go see a movie with someone else?  So I can not talk to them? So I get to Penn Station to take NJ Transit to the show.  It is odd how they manage the train

I was reading today that an American citizen was sentenced to 15 years hard labor (whatever the fuck that means) by the North Korean Supreme Court for plotting to overthrow the government.  He was caught taking a picture of orphans living in the streets. So here is my take on North Korea: North Korea (as a nation state, not its people) is like that weird kid you knew back in grade school.  Didn't shower much.  Wore glasses with smudges on them. Always a bit off, but you didn't pay any attention to him because he was scrawny and it made no difference to you.  You simply avoided him and his little world of video games or board games or whatever it is that weirdo ten year old boys do. But he gets older.  In middle school he starts kicking dogs, playing with fire, and you suspect he smokes.   It isn't that he is the first kid to do this, but you know how it has ended up.  Everyone avoids him and leaves him to his devices.  Violent video games and a whole lot of Mountain D

I can't write. Guess that's just how it is from time to time.   Boston AD Life moving on as it does A sense of loss Being tired Wanting someone to notice  That I can write But I can't And I am empty Because I cannot fill Pages with what the world wants to read And I run From the problems I cannot get down On paper Or this fucking computer screen

I woke up this morning in my new apartment and realized.  I don't have to get up right away.  I can....sleep.  This is great and all, but it creates a small problem for me.  I will be far less grumpy in the mornings....which...to be honest...is sort of my thing in the mornings.  My nickname as given to me by perhaps the most upbeat person I know is Grumpy Bear.  It isn't just a mood, it is an identity. In other news, moving was relatively easy.  Banged my shins a few times.  Had to scramble to find parking with a UHaul.  (whole new respect for people who can drive a large truck.  That was not easy)  Every time I backed up I was certain I was going to a. run over a small child I couldn't see b. run over an old person I couldn't see c. run over a person in their 20's listen to an iPod I couldn't see d. do significant monetary damage to another vehicle or perhaps a home. You can't see a damn thing.  Mirrors be damned. Now I am sleeping on a box spring

I think it is time for a cleanse of sorts.  Not talking like doing some juice fast or depriving myself of food or coffee.  Nope I'm thinking that for a short period of time...2 weeks maybe.  I am going to try a diet consisting primarily of fruits, vegetables, and lean meat.  And of course, I get to eat Chipotle a minimum of twice a week.  What's the point of living if I can't eat Chipotle?  It would be silly. So I'm thinking coffee in the morning.  Fruits, vegetables, almonds, chicken, wine (grapes are a antioxidant rich fruit), and the occasional tortilla wrap. Doing this for a few reasons. 1. Been tired lately 2. Sleeping like crap 3. Eating too much fried and/or processed food. 4. I could lose a couple  pounds. 5. Too much wheat in my diet. 6. Want to get back into racing shape 7. Beer (as much as I love it) is rather high in calories.  A couple week break will only grow our love for each other. Should be easy.  Eliminate corn syrup, most wheat, and bee

The proposed soda ban in NYC is something I was on the fence about. 1. Limiting calories is a good thing. 2. Who the fuck is Bloomberg to tell me I can't drink a 24 oz Coke during a movie? 3. Obese people cost tax payers money through public support. 4. First it is my 20 oz. soda; next it is my 20 oz. beer. I don't like that slippery slope. 5. Less fat people is a good thing. 6. More skinny people is a bad thing. 7. Being healthy is good. 8. Being healthy is a choice. Hope about this.  If you want to drink your 44 oz soda.  Cool, but don't come to the government asking for them to pay for your diabetes medication.  I think that is as fair as it gets. I am glad it was overturned.  First they come for our 44 oz sodas.  Next they come for my Guinness.  I can't allow that.

After sending out many, many emails to people about finding shelter, some of them will inevitably respond.  Some seem like a good fit.  Others....well, one young lady asked if we would be friends.  How do I know?  Maybe you do nothing but watch reality TV and cool food that smells weird.  I could tolerate that in a roommate, but a friend....I think not.   When you finally get to meet the people after working out schedules, etc.  It is a bit nerve racking.  You are in this foreign environment that might one day be your own, but for that time you are an interloper.  One of tens of people being sold the apartment as you trying to sell yourself.  Trying to be friendly, but not over the top.  Engaging, but not creepy.  Funny, but not an asshole.  Interested, but relaxed.  It sucks.   So I am still am man without a home.  Still commuting over 4 hours a day.  Which is just a great way to spend time.  So productive while jammed in between people wearing too much cologne.  I sneeze, my c

Apartment hunting in NYC is an adventure.   By adventure I mean a pure hell I don't particularly care for, but hey...it must be done. When I first moved to NYC 5 years ago I looked at a bunch of places and finally found a roommate who was perfectly suitable.  Liked sports, beer, etc.  Wasn't perfect but it was never like we had any terrible arguments.  I was living somewhat within my means with that, but when our lease expired I decided it was time to get my own place and luckily a studio apartment opened up down the hall.  Easiest move ever.  I was able to get the rent negotiated down and though it was more than I could afford I had my own place on the Upper East Side in a great neighborhood. Fast forward 3 years, I quit my job in finance and suddenly did not have one of those income things and suddenly the apartment went from being a little too expensive to plain out of my price range.  You might say I was short sighted in not lining up an income source or moving to a les

Let's get this out in the open.  I love Pandas.  They sit around all day eating bamboo, climbing trees, rolling around........pretty much enjoying life.  I dig that.  If everyone in this world were more like a panda it would be a friendlier, fuzzier place.  But alas, we humans do not resemble the Giant Panda.  Therefore, perhaps, we need Giant Pandas to remind us of how simple life can be.   (OK, I'm only speaking for myself here, but Pandas are simply a cool animal that I enjoy going to the zoo and watching for an hour - or however long they let me stand at the Panda reserve) So that is why this news report is so very upsetting to me: http://rockcenter.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/02/21/16964074-are-giant-pandas-worth-saving?lite&ocid=msnhp&pos=1 The idea that we need to be putting fewer resources into the preservation of the panda species.   I have some arguments here: 1. What would you rather save?  A lizard?  Lizards are not cuddly. 2. Think about the

Some thoughts for Feb. 14, 2013...... If you are a cop you should be physically fit.  Not the guy who walked into the coffee shop just now and could not bend down to get an item from the open air cooler.  The job is to serve and protect, not eat and sit.  What is this Harlem Shake thing?  I have seen it.  I don't get it.  Looks like a flash mob on crack.  No really, it is stupid.   Harlem Stew, on the other hand, is delicious and can be found at Red Rooster in Harlem.  I really wish my parents taught me how to throw a knuckleball.  Cause I would enjoy Spring Training right now.  You know, getting paid to play a boy's game in warm weather.  So the Olympic sprinter with no legs allegedly shot his girlfriend.  You would think he would be happier, you know, overcoming all those obstacles and all.  Having a model girlfriend despite not having legs.  I should think he would treat her better.   Speaking of the Olympics - no more wrestling?  What's that all a

Oh Valentine's Day.  I am sure we can all agree that a fake holiday aimed at selling flowers, chocolate, and filling restaurants is a great idea for the economy, but a bad idea for our collective self esteem.  Who got what flower arrangement.   Do you have a date?  A day of incomplete feelings, anxiety, and loneliness.  Can you feel the love? So here is what I propose on this Cupid's day of quivers. Do something for yourself.  I'm not saying be that crazy lady in the office who sends herself flowers.  I'm not promoting insanity.  I am promoting self-promotion.  You know that New Year's resolution you left behind on January 11th?  Pick it back up.  That movie you wanted to see.  Go to the theater, alone if you must, and see it.  Hell, bring a bottle of wine with you.  Or for that matter sit at a bar and order yourself a nice glass of wine or scotch or the biggest steak on the menu and ENJOY.  Enjoy it for you.  Not because someone else is obligated to make you fe

I typically do a "Year in Review" for the conclusion of each passing New Year's.   I was crazy busy writing the last book so I have not been blogging, BUT better late than never. So 2012 in review. 1. I spent 6 weeks in Hawaii.  It was warm, but I don't feel like it is my type of place.  Not enough going on. Which for some people is PERFECT.  No hustle.  No fast paced life.  Just a warm place where people smoke a whole lot of pot, eat lots of fish, and drink a lot of Maui Brewing Company beer.  I enjoyed Hawaii, but when my time was up there I was ready to get back to the mainland. 2. I gave up my apartment on the UES.  I had been in the same building for 4 years.  I was used to it, but in the end I simply couldn't afford to live there any longer.  In all honesty I should have moved out a long time before I did.  I was holding on to the place for a few reasons, but I think mostly because I liked the continuity it provided.  It was a bedrock in my life. I mis