It was a Wednesday morning in southern New Jersey. I had just begun a road trip that I am still on. Making my way down the East Coast of this great country I am visiting several friends that I would not otherwise be able to see.
My first stop was to see an old college buddy and his family. Nick.
Nick is active duty in the Army and luckily I caught him on a week when he was on vacation. We were able to lift, drink some beers, hang out at his pool.................and one other thing. He was going to show me some self defense moves given that he is some sort of belt that had virtually no meaning to me in Jui Jitsu.
We were on our way to the local wrestling room where he trains from time to time and I snagged a couple of bottles of water for myself. They weren't cold, but as long as I had something to hydrate with I figured I would be all set.
We arrive and it is this old gym, brick building, no AC, covered in wrestling mats. I snap a selfie as the "before" picture.
I was instructed that our warm-up would be 100 push ups and 100 sit ups.
So yeah, for the record that is sort of a work out of its own for those of us who don't train 6 days a week. I'm not adverse to push ups or sit ups. I'm just saying that 25 or 30 of each would have gotten me plenty warm.
We each do our 100 and 100. One of us is slightly fresher than the other when this is finished. Next, he wraps my wrists and it is time to put on the gloves. We start with some simple combinations. Jab, cross. hook. As we are doing this, I'm getting hot. Real hot. Sweating. Uncontrollably. These mats are getting slick. My face is bright red.
And here is another facet. I'm not skilled in hitting things (which, to be fair, isn't the worst thing to not be good at. It isn't like I go around looking for things to strike). I am missing the gloves (I don't have my glasses on), I am leaving my guard down, my footwork is sloppy (at best), I'm dancing around like I'm auditioning for a part in a River Dancing troop rather than boxing.
We break and I am cursing this warm water. What the fuck was I thinking?
Next up: take down moves. My buddy is a very clear teacher. Evident that he is in the military because he broke down each component of the take down move............which I proceeded to mangle. Each time I lunged at his legs it looked more like I was kneeling to pray rather than take out his legs and throw him to the ground. In essence I am trying to tackle someone who is allowing it and I am failing. That's almost impossible.
Side note: if you are not used to hitting things and lunging to the ground, it gets tiring very fast. Your body isn't used to the contact and it took several take downs - both being tackled to the ground (gentle as he may have been doing it) and being the one attempting to do the take down.
I manage to get a few half decent take downs in and we get to the defensive positions. If someone were to attack me and get me on the ground - what do I do? The answer to this is that I will only wear running shoes from now on because i don't ever want to fight anyone for any reason - I'm 35 and wear glasses. DON'T HIT A GUY WITH GLASSES. DON'T TACKLE HIM EITHER.
However, if someone did happen to sneak up on me and get me to the ground the goal is to get this individual into what i can only refer to as an erotic position where I wrap my legs around his torso and manipulate his arms so that I don't get savagely punched in the head. The formal term for it is "The Guard". However, I have seen this exact move in an adu.................never mind.
Now I have been through all of the phases of basic self defense my friend tells me that it is time for some live sparring.
Things I don't have:
Head gear
A mouth piece
Any idea how to spar
So he sets a timer.............it goes off. The bell rings (there was an actual bell that rang from his phone) and we are off. I'm river dancing. I throw some punches, but I don't want to hit my buddy in the face. So I am throwing punches at his torso and shoulders. Part of this is that I have less than zero interest in him returning a punch to my face. I don't need that. I'm dancing, I'm dancing, I'm throwing strikes to the shoulders that would 100% incapacitate any attacker (No, no they wouldn't) and then I decide to go for the take down. I have stalked him with my glancing blows and it is now time. I shoot for the legs and with all my might I move his body to the side and he falls like a might oak. And then I realize. I am on the ground with a trained killer. this was a very bad idea. Can I call this off? Are there take backs around here? The answer....the answer is no. No there are not. I attempt to mount him and throw my forearms in his face. This is all met with passing annoyance and the next thing I know the roles are reversed. I. Am. The. Hunted. I try to escape, but it is futile...eventually I weasel my way out, but then I turn my back and he smacks me "never turn your back in a fight!!!!"
Meanwhile, "When the fuck is that bell going to ring?" I am dizzy. Hot. The mat is a slip & slide. Nausea has set in. If it were a real fight I would be a half mile down the street by now hailing local law enforcement or joining whatever gang was nearest.
Back on my feet i am throwing punches, just hoping this "round" will end. I am out of gas. I can't see. And then............boom. He sees the weakness he starts to pepper me with shots. Only the strong survive here. You don't quit before you hear the bell.
And it beeps. It was the longest three minutes of my life.
I have run three marathons. I'm am certain that I have never been in that much pain as when I finished a day of sparring with Nick.
I grab some boiling hot water and he says, "Take some water and we are going again in two minutes." There was no second round. I'm done. I have been defeated.
Things I learned. This was the best exercise I have had in years. Evidenced by barely being able to move the next day (that was mostly spent driving) Muscles were used I didn't know existed. This is a good life skill. Knowing how to defend and react to a potential attacker isn't a bad thing, but I'm still going to wear my running shoes.
This is the after. I look 10x better than I felt.
My first stop was to see an old college buddy and his family. Nick.
Nick is active duty in the Army and luckily I caught him on a week when he was on vacation. We were able to lift, drink some beers, hang out at his pool.................and one other thing. He was going to show me some self defense moves given that he is some sort of belt that had virtually no meaning to me in Jui Jitsu.
We were on our way to the local wrestling room where he trains from time to time and I snagged a couple of bottles of water for myself. They weren't cold, but as long as I had something to hydrate with I figured I would be all set.
We arrive and it is this old gym, brick building, no AC, covered in wrestling mats. I snap a selfie as the "before" picture.
I was instructed that our warm-up would be 100 push ups and 100 sit ups.
So yeah, for the record that is sort of a work out of its own for those of us who don't train 6 days a week. I'm not adverse to push ups or sit ups. I'm just saying that 25 or 30 of each would have gotten me plenty warm.
We each do our 100 and 100. One of us is slightly fresher than the other when this is finished. Next, he wraps my wrists and it is time to put on the gloves. We start with some simple combinations. Jab, cross. hook. As we are doing this, I'm getting hot. Real hot. Sweating. Uncontrollably. These mats are getting slick. My face is bright red.
And here is another facet. I'm not skilled in hitting things (which, to be fair, isn't the worst thing to not be good at. It isn't like I go around looking for things to strike). I am missing the gloves (I don't have my glasses on), I am leaving my guard down, my footwork is sloppy (at best), I'm dancing around like I'm auditioning for a part in a River Dancing troop rather than boxing.
We break and I am cursing this warm water. What the fuck was I thinking?
Next up: take down moves. My buddy is a very clear teacher. Evident that he is in the military because he broke down each component of the take down move............which I proceeded to mangle. Each time I lunged at his legs it looked more like I was kneeling to pray rather than take out his legs and throw him to the ground. In essence I am trying to tackle someone who is allowing it and I am failing. That's almost impossible.
Side note: if you are not used to hitting things and lunging to the ground, it gets tiring very fast. Your body isn't used to the contact and it took several take downs - both being tackled to the ground (gentle as he may have been doing it) and being the one attempting to do the take down.
I manage to get a few half decent take downs in and we get to the defensive positions. If someone were to attack me and get me on the ground - what do I do? The answer to this is that I will only wear running shoes from now on because i don't ever want to fight anyone for any reason - I'm 35 and wear glasses. DON'T HIT A GUY WITH GLASSES. DON'T TACKLE HIM EITHER.
However, if someone did happen to sneak up on me and get me to the ground the goal is to get this individual into what i can only refer to as an erotic position where I wrap my legs around his torso and manipulate his arms so that I don't get savagely punched in the head. The formal term for it is "The Guard". However, I have seen this exact move in an adu.................never mind.
Now I have been through all of the phases of basic self defense my friend tells me that it is time for some live sparring.
Things I don't have:
Head gear
A mouth piece
Any idea how to spar
So he sets a timer.............it goes off. The bell rings (there was an actual bell that rang from his phone) and we are off. I'm river dancing. I throw some punches, but I don't want to hit my buddy in the face. So I am throwing punches at his torso and shoulders. Part of this is that I have less than zero interest in him returning a punch to my face. I don't need that. I'm dancing, I'm dancing, I'm throwing strikes to the shoulders that would 100% incapacitate any attacker (No, no they wouldn't) and then I decide to go for the take down. I have stalked him with my glancing blows and it is now time. I shoot for the legs and with all my might I move his body to the side and he falls like a might oak. And then I realize. I am on the ground with a trained killer. this was a very bad idea. Can I call this off? Are there take backs around here? The answer....the answer is no. No there are not. I attempt to mount him and throw my forearms in his face. This is all met with passing annoyance and the next thing I know the roles are reversed. I. Am. The. Hunted. I try to escape, but it is futile...eventually I weasel my way out, but then I turn my back and he smacks me "never turn your back in a fight!!!!"
Meanwhile, "When the fuck is that bell going to ring?" I am dizzy. Hot. The mat is a slip & slide. Nausea has set in. If it were a real fight I would be a half mile down the street by now hailing local law enforcement or joining whatever gang was nearest.
Back on my feet i am throwing punches, just hoping this "round" will end. I am out of gas. I can't see. And then............boom. He sees the weakness he starts to pepper me with shots. Only the strong survive here. You don't quit before you hear the bell.
And it beeps. It was the longest three minutes of my life.
I have run three marathons. I'm am certain that I have never been in that much pain as when I finished a day of sparring with Nick.
I grab some boiling hot water and he says, "Take some water and we are going again in two minutes." There was no second round. I'm done. I have been defeated.
Things I learned. This was the best exercise I have had in years. Evidenced by barely being able to move the next day (that was mostly spent driving) Muscles were used I didn't know existed. This is a good life skill. Knowing how to defend and react to a potential attacker isn't a bad thing, but I'm still going to wear my running shoes.
This is the after. I look 10x better than I felt.
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