One of the true downfalls of NYC living is the laundromat. There is almost nothing I dislike more than having to haul my laundry across the street. (Yes, I know that less than 75 years ago people "washed" their clothing in rivers and on rocks, but I live in 2014, not 1934) And that's just it, it isn't like I have to bring my laundry bag a mile to this place, uphill both ways. It is across the street. I can actually hit the building from my front door with a decent throw of a tennis ball.
So today I go to do my laundry and the price to do a load of wash has risen a whopping 25 cents. I took a deep breath and told myself that it is OK despite the machines always breaking and the people who own the place (perhaps the most miserable humans ever. It is two parents and a grown son running the place and it should be called Misery Laundry. These people hate their lives. The son stands outside and smokes all day. The man looks like his wife beats him and the wife just yells at the two of them all day. Or maybe she is just chatting very loud in Korean? I'm not quite sure.) barely ever acknowledging the fact that I ever walk through the door unless I need quarters.
So today, I paid my extra 25 cents (not without grumbling to myself) and washed about half of the clothing I own. I used the medium sized washer, which my clothes didn't even fill, put the extra quarter (I'm still upset about that extra quarter), put the washer on colors, put in my Win Sports Detergent (that stuff really does work if you have sweaty workout clothes that hold the smell. Seriously, if you workout...get some.) I leave, get my iced coffee, walk back to put my clothes in the dryer. Start taking my clothes out of the washer and place my clothes from the medium sized washer into the dryer. Now these dryers are about the size of a Boeing 747 engine. They are huge! You could fit an active Kindergarten class in one of these things and they would think it is some sort of fun wheel they can spin around. No joke, these dryers could fit every item of clothing I own in them with enough room for my towels and bedding.
I start putting the clothes in the dryer and the mean laundromat lady starts yelling at me, "No. No. No. Too much. You break dryer! Medium wash need two dryer!"
What. The. Fuck?
So I look at her and ask, "So now you want me to spend more money on drying my clothes too?"
"You break dryer!"
I then mumbled something I won't write here on the blog and put half of my laundry in another dryer.
So then, after realizing my laundry costs just went up about 87% I decide to go grocery shopping. Quick in and out. OJ, chicken breast, greek yogurt, bananas, and some Protein shake stuff because I am a big tough guy. So I go to check out and in front of me are these two women buying a TON of groceries. Just massive amounts of food. Behind me is a couple with two kids. The couple has four containers of sugary juice mix.
One of the women checking out in front of me realizes she forgot something and leaves the line while checking out.
Me: Arg
Guy Behind Me (in front of his female significant other and daughter): Yo, that fucking bitch be leaving the line. Fucked Up
Me: Palm to forehead
So the lady comes back and pays.....with her welfare card. AND. AND. AND. SHE TIPS THE CASHIER. THE WOMAN ON WELFARE TIPPED THE CASHIER!!!!! Just throwing bills around while I help pay for her food. I wonder what she is like when she rolls into a club. Popping bottles of champagne, throwing money in the air. Yelling "Money ain't a thing!!!"
Me: Palm to forehead
I check out without incident and notice the people behind me who are buying the healthy corn syrup delight juices are also paying with their welfare card.
Me: Palm to forehead that is now shaking from side to side.
Woman Behind me in Line to 3 year old son: Shut up before I smack you upside the head!
Me: This world is doomed.
I leave, go back to the laundromat of misery, fold my clothes and leave.
Now I am off to a work event so that I can pay for my increased laundry costs and help out the child abusers pay for their sugar drinks while the woman in front of me makes it rain in the grocery store.
What a world. What a world......
So today I go to do my laundry and the price to do a load of wash has risen a whopping 25 cents. I took a deep breath and told myself that it is OK despite the machines always breaking and the people who own the place (perhaps the most miserable humans ever. It is two parents and a grown son running the place and it should be called Misery Laundry. These people hate their lives. The son stands outside and smokes all day. The man looks like his wife beats him and the wife just yells at the two of them all day. Or maybe she is just chatting very loud in Korean? I'm not quite sure.) barely ever acknowledging the fact that I ever walk through the door unless I need quarters.
So today, I paid my extra 25 cents (not without grumbling to myself) and washed about half of the clothing I own. I used the medium sized washer, which my clothes didn't even fill, put the extra quarter (I'm still upset about that extra quarter), put the washer on colors, put in my Win Sports Detergent (that stuff really does work if you have sweaty workout clothes that hold the smell. Seriously, if you workout...get some.) I leave, get my iced coffee, walk back to put my clothes in the dryer. Start taking my clothes out of the washer and place my clothes from the medium sized washer into the dryer. Now these dryers are about the size of a Boeing 747 engine. They are huge! You could fit an active Kindergarten class in one of these things and they would think it is some sort of fun wheel they can spin around. No joke, these dryers could fit every item of clothing I own in them with enough room for my towels and bedding.
I start putting the clothes in the dryer and the mean laundromat lady starts yelling at me, "No. No. No. Too much. You break dryer! Medium wash need two dryer!"
What. The. Fuck?
So I look at her and ask, "So now you want me to spend more money on drying my clothes too?"
"You break dryer!"
I then mumbled something I won't write here on the blog and put half of my laundry in another dryer.
So then, after realizing my laundry costs just went up about 87% I decide to go grocery shopping. Quick in and out. OJ, chicken breast, greek yogurt, bananas, and some Protein shake stuff because I am a big tough guy. So I go to check out and in front of me are these two women buying a TON of groceries. Just massive amounts of food. Behind me is a couple with two kids. The couple has four containers of sugary juice mix.
One of the women checking out in front of me realizes she forgot something and leaves the line while checking out.
Me: Arg
Guy Behind Me (in front of his female significant other and daughter): Yo, that fucking bitch be leaving the line. Fucked Up
Me: Palm to forehead
So the lady comes back and pays.....with her welfare card. AND. AND. AND. SHE TIPS THE CASHIER. THE WOMAN ON WELFARE TIPPED THE CASHIER!!!!! Just throwing bills around while I help pay for her food. I wonder what she is like when she rolls into a club. Popping bottles of champagne, throwing money in the air. Yelling "Money ain't a thing!!!"
Me: Palm to forehead
I check out without incident and notice the people behind me who are buying the healthy corn syrup delight juices are also paying with their welfare card.
Me: Palm to forehead that is now shaking from side to side.
Woman Behind me in Line to 3 year old son: Shut up before I smack you upside the head!
Me: This world is doomed.
I leave, go back to the laundromat of misery, fold my clothes and leave.
Now I am off to a work event so that I can pay for my increased laundry costs and help out the child abusers pay for their sugar drinks while the woman in front of me makes it rain in the grocery store.
What a world. What a world......
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